I'm looking for some faith

This is my life: going out, have a couple of drinks, talk to some girls, maybe go with one of them after, and then leave the hotel... feeling myself emptier than before, senseless, useless, pointless.

I used to be happy (long time ago, I don't even remember how does it feel; the worst part is I don't know if that's good or bad). I got "A hundred years of solitude" in front of me, and i'm thinking that 100 years wouldn't be enough to know how empty and alone feel right now.

I guess I was also a believer: I believed in love, I believed in life, I believed in wellfare, I believed in happines... now I don't, now i barely believe in myself.

Sometimes when I feel like nothing is happening, I simply wanna leave this town... but as it had always happened, I'm pretty sure I will return to it. I hate Toluca, it's weather, it's people...

2 am and I was still awake, can you help me unravel my latest mistake? I guess winter just wasn't my season. Just breathe...

Here in town you can tell I've down for a while, but my god it's so beautiful when I smile, i wanna hold her, maybe I'll just sing about it.

2 am and I'm still writting this shit, if I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me threating the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd, because this words are my diary screaming aloud and I know that you'll use them however you want to.

I've lost myself again; be my friend, hold me, wrap me up, unfold me, I'm small and needy, warm me up and breathe me...

I began to die...

This is me...

This is me then: boring, stupid, fat, short, pathetic, annoying.... this is me with you: fun, incredible, smart, big, handsome, cool.... now can you see how much i love you??? You never judge me, that's the reason why i'm still here, those little highlights in my life, those little sparks of life i can see my shining on with you on my side are the pourpouses for my life. I love you even though i don't know you.

None, I hate titles

Today, the day, by the time I woke up I was already running late. Have you ever had that small, annoying little feeling about your life, that tells you that everything it's ok but it's not? that you may have lost something in the way? that you're not complete? Well... I'm having it right now... plus: I'm listening to "gun in hand"... I feel like suicide right now...

Despite of the fact that last year I became a published writter and all that great shit you know about my life... I hate myself... A few days ago I saw this movie... "It's all about love" (great movie by the way) and the last lines the character Sean Penn was playing are these: "It's all about love, and that's how it should be".

Well, thanks again for reading this shit... reopened 2 years after the first entry... and with me realised as a writter...